On That Very Night Before Christmas

It was Christmas Eve.

I was sitting at the table in my pajamas and bear slippers looking at an old magazine.

“I’m home,” said Darla as came through the front door with two huge shopping bags.

“Did you get everything?”

She set the bags down. “I got much more.” She walked to the fireplace where the fire was crackling. “It took me a while to check out.” She took off her boots. “The lines were very long.” She took her socks off and hung them over the fireplace.

“You have to expect that on Christmas Eve.” I kept looking at the magazine.

“You know how it is.” She sat down at the table and took off her coat. “Everyone needs that last minute gift.” She put her bare feet on the table and took off her hat.

“So what are we leaving Santa tonight?” I asked.

“I really don’t know.” She glanced at the tree in the living room. “I thought about pizza. I figured everyone always leaves him cookies and milk. It would be nice to have a real meal for once.”

“Pizza it will be. We may have some cookies and milk for desert.”

It was Christmas.

I walked into the living room wearing my pajamas and bear slippers to see what Santa had brought us. As expected, there were presents under the tree. I peeked at the pizza box and to see that he ate the whole thing, and he ate the cookies and drank the milk. I saw a note on the empty plate with a few crumbs. I picked it up.

“Thank you for the pizza. It was very good. For this reason, I gave you and Darla extra presents under the tree. Oh, I did need to use your bathroom, and it required me to use so much of your toilet paper. Now you are fully stocked.”

“What did he saw?” Darla snuck up behind me in her pajamas… and she felt something on her toe. She looked down and saw her big toe covered in tomato sauce.

I continued reading. “Oh, I did drop a little sauce onto the floor. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas. P.S. You will get more goodies next year.”

She looked at her toe covered in tomato sauce.

“Should we do fried chicken next year?” I said.

She snatched a napkin from the table and bent over to wipe the sauce from her toe.

“Let’s just see what we got.”

From there, we opened our presents.

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