On That Very Night Before Christmas

It was Christmas Eve.

I was sitting at the table in my pajamas and bear slippers looking at an old magazine.

“I’m home,” said Darla as came through the front door with two huge shopping bags.

“Did you get everything?”

She set the bags down.  “I got much more.”  She walked to the fireplace where the fire was crackling.  “It took me a while to check out.”  She took off her boots.  “The lines were very long.”  She took her socks off and hung them over the fireplace.

“You have to expect that on Christmas Eve.”  I kept looking at the magazine.

“You know how it is.”  She sat down at the table and took off her coat.  “Everyone needs that last minute gift.”  She put her bare feet on the table and took off her hat.

“So what are we leaving Santa tonight?”  I asked.

“I really don’t know.”  She glanced at the tree in the living room.  “I thought about pizza.  I figured everyone always leaves him cookies and milk.  It would be nice to have a real meal for once.”

“Pizza it will be.  We may have some cookies and milk for desert.”

It was Christmas.

I walked into the living room wearing my pajamas and bear slippers to see what Santa had brought us.  As expected, there were presents under the tree.  I peeked at the pizza box and to see that he ate the whole thing, and he ate the cookies and drank the milk.  I saw a note on the empty plate with a few crumbs.  I picked it up.

“Thank you for the pizza.  It was very good.  For this reason, I gave you and Darla extra presents under the tree.  Oh, I did need to use your bathroom, and it required me to use so much of your toilet paper.  Now you are fully stocked.”

“What did he saw?”  Darla snuck up behind me in her pajamas… and she felt something on her toe.  She looked down and saw her big toe covered in tomato sauce.

I continued reading.  “Oh, I did drop a little sauce onto the floor.  I hope you have a very Merry Christmas.  P.S.  You will get more goodies next year.”

She looked at her toe covered in tomato sauce.

“Should we do fried chicken next year?”  I said.

She snatched a napkin from the table and bent over to wipe the sauce from her toe.

“Let’s just see what we got.”

From there, we opened our presents.

Happy Holly Daze

It was a bright sunny day in late December.  I was sitting on a bench reading a book glancing up from time to time to see what was going on around me.  I was looking down at my book, and a strange feeling came upon me.  I peeked and saw a beautiful red haired woman with a bright smile sitting next to me.  Her hair flowed from beneath her Santa hat onto the shoulders of her red sweater with lights that lit up on and off.  She wore black leggings that went halfway down her calf, and she was barefoot with some mistletoe tied to her right big toe.

“Hello.”  I smiled at her.

“Merry Christmas!”  She smiled with a twitch in her face.  “It is so nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” I said.  “You are very Christmassy today.”

“Thank you.”  She stretched her bare feet across my lap.  “I am Holly Daze.”

“Holly Daze?”  I thought it was a cute name for a cute lady.  “I like your name.”

“Thank you,” she had a gleeful joy about her.  “When I am happy, you can call me Happy Holly Daze.”

“What a very cute name.”  I grinned.  “I hope that you can get something good for Christmas.”

Another woman with bright red hair came to the bench wearing a red shirt, green leggings with red socks and black flat shoes, and she sat opposite of where Holly was seated.

“Oh,” Holly blurted as she was rubbing her foot across my lap, “this is Carol Ling.”

Carol gave me a kiss on my cheek.

“Now I see Christmas Carol Ling.  You are not going to sing, are you?”  I thought that I should ask the question.

“Nope,” said Carol.  “I will give you something instead.”

She peeled off her right sock and handed it to me.  “Whatever you pull out of my sock is yours.”

I hesitated, but then I reached in, and I pulled out a set of car keys.

“The Range Rover is right over there.”  She pointed to a white Range Rover park in a nearby parking space.

“Thank you,” I said to her.

She kissed me again.  “You are very welcome.”  She put her sock back on.  “I hope that you enjoy it.”

“Would you both like a ride?”  I shook the keys.

They looked at each other.

We got into the Range Rover.  Carol sat in the back seat.  Holly sat in the passenger seat and put her feet on the dashboard.  As we went off, I was enjoying my Happy Holly Daze and Christmas Carol Ling.

Danielle

Every week, I would take the train from the small town of Oakland and ride into Cumberland.  It was always the same routine.  I come to the station.  I wait for the train.  The train comes.  I board the train.  I ride it to Cumberland.  It was the same thing every week.

This week was completely different.

I arrived at the train station at my normal time.  I saw a very beautiful golden blonde haired lady standing wearing a black sweatshirt and dark blue jeans with the bottoms rolled up partially up her legs.  She was barefoot holding her flip flops in her hand.  I stepped over to her, and she glanced at me.

“Hello,” she said.  “Do you come here often?”

“I come here once a week,” I told her as I walked up to her.  “I am heading to Cumberland.”

“So am I,” she smiled.

“Great,” I said to her.  “It’s nice to have someone to ride with.”

“Interesting,” she smiled.  “I was hoping to ride with someone.  Maybe I can ride with you.”

“Gladly,” I replied not knowing what to think, but she looked like a very friendly lady.  “Here comes the train.”

The train pulled up.  We boarded.  I sat in my usual seat.  She sat next to me.  She put her bare feet on the seat across from us.

“You must love trains,” she winked at me.

“Oh I do,” I said looking out the window as the train departed from the station.

“I like trains too,” she said.  “I use to ride the train across the country when I was a little girl.  I did not do much riding when my parents died.”

“Well I am glad to have you ride with me today,” I said to her.

She moved over and kissed me on the cheek.

“Thank you,” she smiled.  “I am glad to be riding with you.”

We rode together to Cumberland.  We got off the train.  As we were walking along the platform, she asked, “What time will you be returning?”

“4:00pm,” I told her.

“I will see you then.”

As she turned to walk away I asked her,”What is your name?”

“Danielle.”

“Glad to be riding with you, Danielle.”

“See you at 4.”

As she walked away, I remember that line from Casablanca, “This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

The Innkeeper

It was a December day.  It was business as usual at Coming Inn.  The master innkeeper was about to leave for the day.  He spoke to Buzzikedah, a new innkeeper, saying, “Buzzikedah, I am leaving for the day.  I must tell you that many people will be coming to town tonight so we must have much room.”

“I will make sure that there is room for everyone,” Buzzikedah replied.

“Good,” said the master innkeeper.  “I can always depend on you.  Now it is said that a king will be staying here tonight.  It is very important that you make room for him.  It will give us great business.  If we are nice to a king, he will reward us.”

“You can count on me,” said Buzzikedah.

The master innkeeper left for the day.  As the day went on, people came to the inn.  More and more and more people came, and Buzzikedah let them in until, he realized, he was out of space.  He was terrified.  What was he going to do?  He could not tell people to leave.  He knew that he was going to lose his job when the master innkeeper returned in the morning.

Night came.  There was no room.  Buzzikedah was flabbergasted knowing that he was in big trouble.

“Excuse me,” a man came up to him.  “My wife and I need a place to stay.”

He looked and saw a man with a donkey with a woman sitting upon it. They looked ordinary to him.

“Sorry,” he said to them.  “I have no room.”

“Please,” the man begged him.  “My wife is pregnant and can give birth any minute.  All of the other inns are full.  We must have a place to stay.”

“I am sorry,” Buzzikedah said to the man, “but I am out of room.”

The man kept begging.  “Please.  I will give anything.  We just need a place.”

“I want to help you,” Buzzikedah said, “but I am full.”  He thought for a moment.  “I do own a manger down the street.  If you do not mind sleeping with cows and donkeys, you can sleep there.”

“Thank you,” the man replied.  “We will take it.”

Buzzikedah showed the way, and the man and woman went on their way.  He stayed up all night waiting for that king to come, but the king never came.  He assumed that he may have checked in at the Piggy Inn up the street.  He was afraid to see the master in the morning.

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Morning came.  Buzzikedah was fast asleep.

“Did you see the king,” the master innkeeper woke him up.

“What,” he was dazed and confused.

“The king arrived at the inn,” the master innkeeper kept pounding.  “Is he here?”

“Sorry,” Buzzikedah replied, “but we ran out of room.  There was no…”

“Excuse me,” a man’s voice said.

They looked back and saw three men dressed on very fine attire.  The one man handed the master innkeeper a large bag of money.

“We want to thank you for taking care of the king.  Because of you, the king had a place to sleep.”

Buzzikedah was very confused.  “What king?”

“Oh,” said the man, “he found comfort in the stable.  Here is the payment you justly deserve.”

Buzzikedah and the master innkeeper were dumbfounded.  “What is he the king of?”

“Oh,” he said, “he is a very special king.  He is the King of kings and Lord of lords.  His name… is Jesus.  Anyway, we are off on a very special journey.”

The three men departed from the inn.

“Great work,” said the master innkeeper.  “I knew that you would be on the lookout.”

Buzzikedah was very relieved.  He received a great raise.  It was a great day for the inn.

The Angel Train

It was a very snowy Christmas day in the little valley town of Ozput.  Two feet of snow was on the streets, but that did not hinder Tom Sholes from making his way to the train station.  He trudged onto the platform through the deep snow to a seat where he cleared off the snow, and he sat down.  He took out a paper from his backpack, and he began to read.

An hour went by, and Tom was still sitting on the bench.  An elderly man came out to him.  “Why are you sitting here?” he asked.  “No train is coming.”

“It will be here,” Tom spurred out.

“I don’t think so.”  The elderly man looked both ways on the snow covered tracks.  “I hope you are planning on waiting a very long time.”

“I will wait as long as I have to.” Tom continued to read his paper.

“You are an idiot.”  The elderly man shook his head.  “No train can make it through five feet of snow.  Besides, the snowplows are not going to get here anytime soon.   You might as well…”

“Tooooooooooooooooooot!”  A train whistle sounded.

The elderly man was dumfounded.  He peeked in one direction, and he saw a spout of snow shooting high into the air, and it was coming towards them.

“Here it comes.” Tom folded his paper.  “It was not a long wait after all.”

The train came into sight.  It was a steam engine that was shooting snow out of its stack.  As it was approaching, it was pushing the snow from the tracks.  It pulled up to the station, and it screeched to a stop with the first passenger car stopped where Tom was sitting.

“Impossible!”  The elderly man could not believe his eyes.  “This can’t be.”

“You’re looking at it.”  Tom stood up.  “The train has arrived.”

The train opened at the back side of the car.  A bare foot reached out the car and stepped into the deep snow on the platform.  A wing with bright white feathers stretched out.  Then a hand came out.  The elderly man had a strange look as the angel with her golden blonde hair and here huge bright white wings wearing a silver robe stepped completely out of the car.

“Preposterous,” the elderly man stuttered.  “She is not real.”

The angel walked up to them.

“Hello Angela.”  Tom slurred out tipping his hat.

“Wait a minute.”  The elderly man was shocked.  “You know her.”

“She is always the one who greets me every year,” Tom smiled.

Angela stared at the elderly man.  “Touch my wings.”

The elderly man looked down at her bare feet in the snow.

“It appears that you have never seen someone barefoot with snow on the ground,” she said to him.

“Preposterous,” the elderly man stuttered out.  “If you were an angel, you would fly.”

She outstretched her wings, and she went up.  The elderly man was terrified and fell onto the snowy platform.

“Do not be afraid.”  Angela came back down.  “We are very friendly.”

“Come with us,” Tom said.  “You will enjoy the ride.”

The elderly man slowly tried to get up.

“Come with us.”  Angela helped him up.  “It is a free ride.”

The elderly man stood there terrified.  Tom and Angela walked to the entrance of the car, and they looked back.  The elderly man began to shrug.  Angela reached out her hand.  “You will be alright.  You will be glad you came.”

The elderly man looked at the angel.  She flew over to him.  She picked him up by the shoulders, and she brought him into the car.  He looked inside, and he was amazed at the bright white interior.  The floor was a white fur carpet.  The seats were padded with white velvet.  The chandeliers were crystal.

“Let me take you to your seat,” Angela said.

Tom and the elderly man followed Angela past rows of seats.  They saw a man dressed in a white suit playing a harp.  They saw man and a woman sitting together wearing hiking clothes carrying a large bottle of water.

“Here are your seats.”  Angela pointed to where they were sitting.

“Thank you,” Tom said, and he and the elderly man sat down.

“Call me if you need anything.”  Angela had a sparkle in her eye, and she went away.

“Where is this train going?”  The elderly man was looking around.

“You will see.”  Tom had a big smile on his face.  “Just enjoy the ride.”

The train began to pull away from the station.  The elderly man looked outside, and the town slowly began to fade into the falling snow.  He looked across the aisle and saw three men wearing shiny black suits each holding a wrapped gift.

“Hey there!” he shouted.  “Who are the gifts for?”

The three men looked at the elderly man.

“He’s a new passenger,” Tom said to the men.

“I see,” the one man said.  “I am Managon.  I have gold for the king.”

“I am Mortazar.  I have frankincense for the king.”

“I am Ussaysays.  I have myrrh for the king.”

“King?”  The elderly man was dumbfounded.  “What kind of city is this?”

The three men looked at each other.  “You will be amazed when you see the city,” Mortazar.

The elderly man began to cringe in his seat.

“He’s shy,” Tom said.  “He does not believe that this train is here.”

“There are many who do not believe that this train exists,” Ussaysays said, “but it comes every time.  Everyone has been given a ticket to ride the train, but not everyone uses there ticket.”

“Well I never got a ticket,” the elderly man angered out.

“But you are on this train,” Managon said.

The elderly man was confused.

“Relax,” Managon assured him.  “You will be glad that you came along.”

The elderly man just sat in his seat.

A day went by.  The elderly man was looking out the window, and he saw a golden city.

“We are almost there.”  Tom was looking out behind him.

The elderly man continued to look outside as the train pulled into the city.  People stood next to the tracks cheering.

“We are here.”  Angela touched his shoulder.  “Soon, you will be able to get off and walk around.”

The train pulled up to the station.  Tom and the elderly man were escorted by Angela off the train.

“Come,” she said.  “I will take you to the king.”

The elderly man was overwhelmed with the beauty of the city.  The crowds grew to where the streets were impassible.  Angela grabbed Tom and the elderly man’s arms, and she lifted them up over the crowd.  The elderly man became paranoid.

“Do not worry.”  Angela held him tight.  “I will not let you fall.”

The elderly man was terrified, but he was enjoying the view of the city.  He looked forward and saw a glass palace.

“That is the palace,” Angela said.  “The King is waiting to see you.”

They went into the palace, and they landed in the courtyard.

“Welcome to my palace,” a strong voice spoke out.

The elderly man cringed.

“Do not be afraid.”  The voice assured him.

The elderly man saw a man wearing a bright white robe and a golden crown standing over him.  He looked at his old clothes.

“Worry not,” the man said.  “I am glad that you are here.  Come, let us dine together.”

The elderly man was shaking, “Greetings, your majesty.”  He was trembling.

The King reached out his hand.  “Come,” he said.

From there, they went with the King.

It was the next Christmas.  There was six inches of snow on the train platform.  Tom was reading a paper waiting for the train.

“Can I come with you on this journey?” the elderly man asked.

Tom looked at the elderly man who was standing next to him.  He wiped off some snow from the bench.  “We could be waiting a long time.”

“I can wait,” the elderly man said.

“Come sit down.”  Tom patted the bench.

The elderly sat down next to Tom.  Together, they waited.

A Touch of Holly

Five feet of snow had fallen outside, and the snow was still falling.  We were in cabin out in the woods of Upstate New York.  I was sitting on the couch looking out the front window with a lovely redhead lady named Holly.  We could hear the cold winds blowing hard against the house.

“It looks like we are stuck here for a long while,” I said.

“I don’t want to stay here for days,” Holly complained.  “I want to go to the beach and put my toes in the sand.”

“I know,” I told her, “but the weather is going to be like this for a long while.  The snow is not melting anytime soon.  We are stuck here.”

Holly began to contemplate.  As she sat on the couch in her gray sweatshirt, blue jeans and fuzzy hat with her bare feet on the coffee table, she glanced outside and looked down and peeked outside again.

“I know what to do,” Holly said as she got up off the couch.

“What are you doing?”  I was very puzzled.

“Watch me.”  She grabbed her coat and slipped it on.

As she grabbed the doorknob, I blurted, “Its cold outside.”

She looked down at her bare feet.  “Watch me!”

She opened the door allowing a rush of cold air to blast in.  She put her foot upon the snow bank that was against the door, and the snow began to melt.  The snow melted on the porch.  She took another step onto the snowy ground.  With every step she took, the snow melted under her feet.  I watched as she walked away from the cabin, and the snow was melting everyone.  Within a short moment, the snow melted completely, and the leaves grew on the trees.  It was like it was summer.  She walked back to me and kissed me.

“How did you do that?”  I was dumbfounded.

“All it needed was a touch of Holly.”  She smiled.

A Story of Thanksgiving by Albert Als

Hello Everybody.  I am Albert Als.  Who am I?  I am somebody who came up with this story about Thanksgiving.  What is this story about Thanksgiving?  Allow me to tell you this story, but first, we must go way, way, way back to a time in history.

It first began with a wealthy man named Arostogas.  He lived in very ancient Rome.  At the time, he saw many without money.  So he established many banks across Rome.  That day was known as Banksgiving.

Later, King Atropicees and Queen Sophiltrees of the Nobitnose Kingdom were without a child, and they were up there in age.  They needed an heir to continue the kingdom.  Someone then surrendered a child to be a child of the royal family, and they took him in.  While in the royal palace, the child became very cranky complaining about everything.  The day of the child’s arrival was forever named Cranksgiving.

Solibuk was a hot dog vender in ancient Joppa.  Every day he sold hot dogs to everyone on the street, but one day, he came upon a school, and they had nothing to eat, but they did not have any money.  Solibuk gave his hot dogs to the children, and they ate them up.  That day was known as Franksgiving.

Vernonnica of Shopnees was a princess without a prince, but no man wanted to marry her.  Even though the man would be offered an opportunity to rule the kingdom, they all avoided her… until… a man named Hank arrived.  They got married, and they lived happily ever after.  The day was marked as Hanksgiving.

Jessica of Tressis was kidnapped by the Pirates of Waterho.  A ransom was sent for her, but it was never paid.  Therefore, the pirates made her walk the plank.  She frightfully walked to the end and stood there in fear.  The captain walked over to her and shoved her off, and she fell into the ocean.  On that day, the Pirates of Waterho celebrated Planksgiving.

It was a day in Volgohol Harbor.  Thousands of ships were anchored awaiting the time to come to the port to offload their goods.  Then, all of a sudden, all at once, all of the ships sank.  Everyone was flabbergasted at what they saw.  That day was forever known as Sanksgiving.

It was a long journey for some journeymen arriving to the New World.  As they stepped off the ship, they knelt to the ground and prayed to the Almighty God to thank Him for a safe passage across the sea.  That day was forever known as Thanksgiving, and this day has been special ever since.

Now you know my story of Thanksgiving.  I am Albert Als.  Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

It Was That Halloween Night

It was that Halloween Night.  Holly was sitting on the beach with her best friends Amy, Julie, Naomi and Wanda next to a fire.  It was a chilly night, but that did not keep them for putting their toes in the sand.  The waves were crashing on the beach.  A chilly wind blew.  It was the perfect Halloween night.

Then they heard a big breathing sound.

“What was that?”  Amy was very frantic.

“The great creature,” said Julie.  “It comes out on Halloween night when the winds are cold and the moon is full.”

They looked to the sky and saw that the moon was full.

“What are we going to do?” Amy became more and more frantic.

There was a ruffling in the nearby woods.  They looked towards the sound.  Holly was shocked as she saw that it was Sammy, her ex-boyfriend that left her two years ago.

“Hi, Holly,” Sammy waved with a smile.

“It’s the great creature!”  Naomi shouted.

The ladies frantically ran away.

“Where’s everybody going?”  Sammy asked, but the ladies kept running away.  He looked down and said, “It looks like I’ll be eating hot dogs and s’mores by myself.”

On that Halloween night, Sammy had the whole beach to himself.

Working Willie for Labor Day 2016

Hello Everyone.  I am Working Willie.  I am called Working Willie because my name is Willie, and I work.  I am not like Lazy Bum Billy who never works.  Because I work, I am honored on Labor, a day set aside for those who work.  If you do work, honor yourself on this day.  If you are a lazy bum like Lazy Bum Billy, get to work.  For those who must work on this Labor Day, we honor your sacrifice so that others can live their lives.  For you teachers, truck drivers, policemen, firemen, soldiers, sailors, warehouse workers, engineers, bus drivers, film and entertainment workers, waiters and waitresses, secretaries, and all you who give your lives to volunteer work and all of you I have not mentioned, be honored on Labor Day.  I am Working Willie.  Have a Happy Labor Day.

The Big Nasty Sea Monster

The  idea  of  the  following  story  came  from  a  poem  written  by  Heartafire.  Her  real  name  is  Holly.  Anyway,  I  wrote  the  story  and  read  it  at  an  open  mic  in  Manassas,  Virginia,  and  now  I  share  it  with  you.  Enjoy!

 

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It was a very quiet afternoon in a small beach town.  I was taking a little walk near the beach.  I looked out and saw Holly, a very beautiful red-haired lady wearing her flowery dress taking a leisurely walk along the beach.  I began to approach her, but in a quick flash, a big nasty sea monster jumped out at Holly, and he was about to eat her.  Holly screamed out in total chaotic fear.

“What are you doing?” I arrived just in time as his mouth surrounded her.

He glanced back.  “I am the big nasty sea monster.  I eat people.  She is a person.  Therefore, I am eating her.”

Holly cried as he turned to eat her.

“Now why do you want to eat a very nice beautiful lady like her?”  I asked the big nasty sea monster.

He turned at me again.  “Why is it your business?”  He growled.  “I am eating her.”

Holly was terrified as he quickly opened his month to swallow her.

Later that night, the moon was shining on the beach.  Holly was sitting on a lawn chair next to a table drifting her toes through the sand.  I came out to her from a nearby grill carrying a very large plate.

“Mmmmmm!  Smells good,” she glistened.  “What are the choices for tonight?”

I set the plate down in from of her.  “We have many choices,” I said.  “We have Sea monster roast, sea monster a la king, sea monster dumplings, roast of sea monster, barbecue sea monster, southern fried sea monster, cream of sea monster soup and sea monster on a stick.”

We ate well that night.  We reminisced about that sea monster.  He was big, he was hasty, he was bad, he was horrifying, and, most important of all, he was very delicious.