The Three Big Pigs

Once upon three different times there were three big pigs.  One lived in a house made of straw.  One lived in a house made of wood.  One lived in a house made of solid brick.  They each lived alone doing their own thing.

            One day, a big bad wolf was prowling around.  He came upon the house of straw.  He stood outside the door and yelled out, “Big pig, big pig, let me in.”

            “No,” said the pig.  “You aint’ coming in.”

            “Then I will huff and puff and blow your house down.”  The wolf shouted.

            “No, you won’t,” replied the pig.

            “Yes, I will,” said the wolf.

            “No, you won’t,” replied the pig.

            “What makes you think that I won’t?” asked the wolf.

            “Because I will blow your brains out with my shotgun,” replied the pig.

            “Very funny,” said the wolf.

            The big pigs blew out the door holding his shotgun.  He quickly aimed at the head and… bang!  The wolf left the house with his brains blown out.

            Days later, the wolf came upon the house of wood.  He stood outside the door and yelled out, “Big pig, big pig, let me in.”

            “No,” said the pig.  “You aint’ coming in.”

            “Then I will huff and puff and blow your house down.”  The wolf shouted.

            “No, you won’t,” replied the pig.

            “Yes, I will,” said the wolf.

            “No, you won’t,” replied the pig.

            “What makes you think that I won’t?” asked the wolf.

            “Because I will burn your butt off,” replied the pig.

            “Very funny,” said the wolf.

            As the wolf was focused on the house, the pig snuck up behind him.  He sprayed gasoline on the wolf’s butt and used a match to light it on fire.  The wolf run frantically until he jumped into a lake to put the fire out.  The wolf left without his brains blown out and his butt burned off.

            Days later, the wolf came upon the house of wood.  He stood outside the door and yelled out, “Big pig, big pig, let me in.”

            “No,” said the pig.  “You aint’ coming in.”

            “Yep,” replied the wolf.  “You are right.  I aint’ coming in.”

            The wolf walked away.  As the pig watched through the window, he said to himself, “That’s a shame.  I bought that silver platter for his head, and now it won’t be used.

            The big bad wolf lived unhappily ever after.

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