Hello. Hello. Hello. I am Saint Valentine the Good Heart. I am not the Saint Valentine of whom this day is named for. I am called Saint Valentine the Good Heart because my name is Valentine who is a saint that has a good heart. Therefore, I am Saint Valentine the Good Heart. For this very reason, I am more than qualified to speak to you on this day, Valentine’s Day. It is a day of love. My love is Xena of Mortychucks, a very beautiful and gorgeous woman who I rescued from being executed by the Evil Queen Vomita. I am now married to Xena of Mortychucks, and we have lived happily ever after. I know that some of you are in search of your true love. May you continue in your search, and may it end in great superior success. For those who have found their true love may this day be a day of everlasting love and enjoyment. For those who hate your true love, screw you. For those who love your true love, let love rule the day. I am Saint Valentine the Good Heart. Have a HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!